New daughter in da’ house

An article by Brad    No Comments

Time to switch my focus away from politics and Spongebob and TV and comic books for a couple of minutes and return to the fatherhood mindset, because quite a few things have happened in the past couple of weeks. 

My wife gave birth to my second child, a little girl, and life has definitely changed. 

I remember when my son Nathan was born.  My wife and I spent so much time with him as an infant, picked him up just for the sake of picking him up, looking at him just to look at him.  It was a novelty.  Something new and different in our life.

The second child is so much different.  She’s more like a guinea pig or some other caged pet.  I look at her once in a  while, pick her up once in a while, but I definitely don;t spend as much time with her as I did with my son.  It’;s not because I love her any less.  And it’s not necessarily because the novelty has worn off.  She is adorable and I do so love to hold her.  

It’s because I now have a two year old to watch as well.  And he is a handful.  As most two year olds are. 

People will say that it’s not the first child whose a life changer, it’s the second.  And they’re right.  Especially at the beginning.  Because at the beginning, all you really do is feed the baby and change the baby, and life isn’t altered all that much except for sleep patterns.  It gets more complicated as that first child gets older, but its never too complicated.  But the second child, the second child transforms life into a a balancing act.

Before my daughter Eliana was born, on days I didn’t have to be up for work until 9:30, I would stay up will 2:30, 3:00.  I am a night person, and can get so much more done at night: laundry, bills, work, writing.  My wife would get up with my son.  But now that there is a second child, I can’t sleep late anymore.  My wife nurses, which wreaks hell with her sleep schedule, so now I get up with my son, and he can wake any time between 7:30 and 8:30.  So no more going to bed late and waking late.  I have to be in bed relatively early every night just in case he wakes at 7:30.  And if he sleeps later… I guess I’ve gotten a little more sleep.

It’s a huge change to adjust to, the second child syndrome.

I’m looking forward to the day the two kids can get out of bed and get breakfast themselves without waking mommy and daddy.  of course, that’s years away, but a man can dream.  I probably won’t get more than 7 hours of sleep again until that happens because I simply can’t get to bed before 1:00.  I just can’t.

The early stages of having family is a weird thing.  A stressful thing, riddled with changes and new responsibilities.  And sometimes I think to myself: I’m way too young to have children.  Of course that’s insane.  I’m 31 years old.  A generation ago, people had families at 25.  You know what it is?  you don’t feel like a grown up until you have children.  Until you have real responsibility.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family.  It’s just that, the jump from1 kid to 2 is such a major jump, one that requires such a lifestyle change, it can be a shock to the system.

I’ll get through it.  Everyone does.  And I’ll wear my scars proudly.

Oh, and by the wya, I;m goign to go to the vet next week and get neutered.  I. Am. Done.